(Originally Posted May 2014)
It’s not easy to make big changes, even if you tell yourself every day that change is all you want. We get comfortable in our lives. As much as we might hate the routine, we still cling to it because it’s familiar. Change is risky. Change is scary. The idea of throwing away routine for a new life is exciting, but actually doing it is terrifying.
I’ve always craved change, but I’ve also always been filled with anxiety. For a long time, I’ve struggled with desperately wanting to step out into the unknown while also fearing it. The fear usually wins. Which is why a 25-year-old chronic day dreamer enthralled with the idea of endless wandering (me) has really never traveled at all. Fear has stopped me from doing a lot of things–going places, accepting opportunities, etc. I wanted a change but I was afraid to let it happen.
I lived in a suburb outside of St. Louis for most of my 25 years, too scared to leave. But now I’m 2,000 miles away from St. Louis, living in the Evergreen State. I managed to get myself out of there through sheer impulse. My transition from humdrum routine in Missouri to a new life in Washington happened quickly. It started with pure determination one morning to go somewhere new, and less than three weeks later I was driving 2,200 miles across the country to my new home. Crazy, impulsive, unplanned it may have been, but I was wholly committed to starting this adventure.
So here I am in a small town near Seattle, living and working on a vegetable farm. I changed my entire life in less than a month and I’m surprised to say…it wasn’t so scary.